Denis the Menace

This morning Annabella came home crying because an older child had stolen her snail from the fire. She and her friends often collect snails and cook them over the fire for a snack. The child who stole her treat is the older brother of Annabella's playmates. He is often around at playtime, and sometimes he plays amiably with the younger kids, but other times he can be a menace as older siblings often are. Annabella has been learning about forgiveness, so she expressed to me that she wanted this young boy, let's call him Denis, to apologize to her. I told her that we cannot make people apologize, but that I would go talk to him. Annabella often comes home complaining about Denis' latest offense, and I have recently suggested to her that she pray for him, as Jesus tells us to pray for those who persecute us. She had prayed for Denis just this morning.

It was my hope that I would be able to use this latest episode to provide guidance for Denis, who doesn't get much positive parental direction. I went out and confronted the child with his wrongdoing in front of his mother. His mother laughed, as parents here often do when faced with the shame of seeing their child's sin exposed. But as I wanted to display better discipline techniques to her, I continued. I have a relationship with Denis' mother, and we have talked about caring for and disciplining children on many occasions. I told Denis that stealing is wrong and that he should not steal his friends' food, and that I didn't want to hear about him bothering his friends again. I reminded him that he was to be kind to others. He listened to my chastening as respectfully as can be expected, stated that he understood, and then we parted ways. His mom went off to work on her field, and he went to sit under a nearby shelter.

A few minutes later I reminded Denis of the lesson he just learned, but he had his back to me and didn't respond. Then I noticed he was crying. I sat down next to him and asked him what was bothering him. No response. Was he sick? No. Did he feel sadness? Yes. What caused him sadness. No response. Did he feel sadness over the bad thing he just did? Yes. Well, OK!!! We can restore relationship here!! I told him that he can ask Annabella for forgiveness, and I asked if he would like that. Yes. Success! Thank you God for giving him a repentant heart! Baka children do not naturally come to this point so voluntarily.

So I called Annabella over and told her that Denis wanted to apologize. She accepted his apology and relationship was restored. But Denis was still sad. I asked if perhaps he was hungry. Yes. Denis and his siblings don't enjoy plenitude of food very often, and I suspected that was part of the reason why he stole the snail in the first place. It is hard to resist temptation when you are constantly feeling hunger pain. Now was my chance to show him a little kindness and hopefully communicate Christ's love to him with a small gesture of generosity. Would he like some peanut sauce and rice? Yes.

I sat Denis down on the front veranda with a bowl full of food, and he ate his meal quietly, gathering up each grain of rice before asking me to come get his plate. Was his belly full? Yes. Good. I reminded him that the conflict over the snail was over, that Annabella had forgiven him, and that he should not worry about it any more. He nodded. I went back in the house.

I'm going. This simple little statement, made a few minutes later touched my heart. In Baka culture, it is polite to announce your arrival and departure. Most of the kids, including Denis, often overlook this small gesture. But he took the time to take his leave today, and I saw a little change of heart. Perhaps this occasion will open the door for more discussions about forgiveness and love. Perhaps he will be able to better understand God's grace now. Perhaps this is the beginning of a changed life.

I didn't have any grand expectations today as I went outside to discipline a child who is not my own. Though I tried to have good intentions, I was put out by the fact that I had to deal with yet another behavior problem with the neighborhood children. I was weighed down by the fact that much of my interaction with the kids is in the role of disciplinarian. Denis wasn't the first kid that I had disciplined this morning, and he will likely not be the last. My attitude was not good, and my expectations were low. I wondered if Denis would even hear my words, or if he would continue to deny his wrongdoing as the children often do. But God surprised me. Denis had a repentant heart.

Please join Annabella and I in praying for her Baka friends. They desperately need Jesus. Pray that we would effectively communicate Jesus' grace to them. Pray that their little hearts would be open to hear God's Word, and that their lives would be forever changed.