ER Blues

As I arrive home from work tonight (or rather this morning), I have much to consider. Though life as an ER nurse has its challenges, I feel that some of the stresses that are included in my job are unnecessary. I am considering applying at another hospital in order to gain more ER specific training and preparation. This, of course, opens a new can of worms, and I am not sure what to do with them. Please pray with me for wisdom and guidance as I wade through some difficult decisions.

Devotion

de•vo•tion: noun
1 a: religious fervor: piety b: an act of prayer or private worship -- usually used in plural c: a religious exercise or practice other than the regular corporate worship of a congregation
2 a: the act of devoting b: the fact or state of being ardently dedicated and loyal (as to an idea or person)
3 obsolete: the object of one's devotion

I see four different meanings for devotion here.
religious fervor: piety: whether it be allegiance to the one true God or a false god, a commitment to one’s religion is one meaning for devotion.
an act of prayer or private worship: this makes me think of the daily devotions that many Christians have made part of their lives. Sometimes these are with a small group of people or by one’s self, but they are priceless times to sit at God’s feet, learn from Him, worship, and pray.
the act of devoting: I am reminded of Hannah. She devoted Samuel, her long awaited and much loved son to God’s service. This was not an empty dedication, but a real sacrifice as she sent her young son, just after he was weaned, to live in the temple, so far away that she would only see him once a year.
fact or state of being ardently dedicated and loyal: What I wish for. Such devotion is what God deserves. This is the kind of commitment to God that led Hannah to devote not only her own life to God, but also the child that was so precious to her. This is the sort of selflessness that leads martyrs to give up their lives instead of forsaking Christ. This is real devotion.

Indescribable

At church the other day, I was overwhelmed with the uniqueness of God. I wanted to find a word or two to describe Him, but nothing seemed adequate. Everything that I thought of described something so much smaller, so much weaker, and so much less perfect. Laura Story and Jesse Reeves put words, though still quite inadequate, to the uniqueness of God in Chris Tomlin’s album Arriving.

From the highest of heights
To the depths of the sea
Creation’s revealing your majesty
From the colors of Fall
To the fragrance of Spring
Every creature unique
And the song that it sings
All exclaiming…

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And you know them by name
You are amazing, God
All powerful, untamable
Awestruck, we fall to our knees
As we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God

Who has told every lightning bolt
Where it should go?
Or seen heavenly storehouses
Laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun
And gives source to its light?
Yet conceals it to bring us the
Coolness of night?
None can fathom…

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And you know them by name
You are amazing, God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart
And you love me the same
You are amazing God

Songs and Feet

Rejoice with me as I celebrate a new step in the journey of the Baka to Christ!!! I have been amazed at the wondrous work that God is doing on behalf of the Baka through good times and bad, happy moments and sad.

For what seems like a very long time, I have been praying for this little people group who need Christ so desperately. One of the prayers that I have been praying is that God would give them a song to sing. I don’t just mean any old song, but a song of redemption and worship to our King.

I dream of the day that all nations will be gathered to Christ. I cannot imagine how great that day will be, but I bet each tribe will be worshiping our Lord in their own way, their own tongue, and their own song. These songs will blend together in a beautiful orchestra of voices and hearts poured out before God. The Baka will be among that great throng of people, and they will be singing their own song of praise in perfect harmony with the rest who will be gathered that day. The exciting part right now is that we are beginning to see glimpses of what that will look like.

A prayer letter came to me the other day from my friends Barry and Desma, who recently went back to Cameroon to continue the work among the Baka. On a preliminary trip into the bush with teammate Nathan, Barry got to participate in a little meeting with the Baka and was pleasantly surprised at what he saw and heard. Here is an excerpt of the letter describing the gathering:

The best part of the week, however, came on the last evening. Pierre (our Cameroonian friend who is a believer and has dedicated himself to sharing the gospel with the Baka) invited me to prepare some verses and a few words for a meeting with the Baka. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I borrowed a French Bible from Samba. Phil and Reda had left it to him as he is capable of reading a great deal of French. I wasn’t prepared for the beautiful glimpse of things to come.

We began the meeting with a couple of songs that Pierre and the Baka have worked together to write in the Baka style. It was a beautiful sound and I could pick out enough words in Baka to know that they were singing about God’s goodness. Their voices rose as if they were putting all they had into the melodies. There were divided parts as one person after another (Lendo, Mbaka, Samba) would lead certain songs sometimes at Pierre’s prompting sometimes more spontaneously. After the first two songs, Pierre said it was my turn. I read to them in French from Jeremiah 17:5-8 which talks about the tree planted by the river which never ceases to bear fruit and doesn’t notice when the heat comes I proceeded to explain briefly how God has many names . . . one of which is the river of life. I explained that whoever plants himself close to this river would experience the blessings of God. They replied in unison with a hearty “ie sakindi” (yes it’s true).

I also shared with them that we were sad that Phil couldn’t be with us, but that we are content that he is now in heaven with the Lord. They replied with the same phrase.

After I finished, they clapped and then sang many other songs. Before the last song, Samba led a prayer. I must remind you that Samba was one of the young men that passed their days on Desma’s porch when she lived here before. Now he is a man with a very large heart. He prayed a long prayer and I was so moved to hear the tone of his voice as he prayed. It sounded familiar even though I couldn’t understand most of the words. Later when Pierre explained the content of the prayer, my heart was very glad. He prayed for our trip back to Yaounde and for our families and children. He also prayed for our teammate Reda Anderton and her children as they continue to grieve the loss of Phil. He prayed for the people of Mayos as well. We closed with a song as everyone shook hands with everyone there.

You can imagine my joy at hearing such amazing news. Though I cannot expect that all of the people who were at that little meeting are true believers at this time, it is still so encouraging to see leaders beginning to emerge, leaders who will be used by God to further the Gospel among the Baka and surrounding people groups. The Baka are beginning to hear the melody that God will press onto their hearts, and I dare say, some are humming along already.

This raised a question in my heart about whether I would be of any use in the Baka ministry. After all, it will be a couple of years before I will be able to get to the mission field, and there may be the beginning of a growing and vibrant church among the Baka at that time. But God nudged me a little and showed me how much more work there is to be done. Even after a church is established in this encampment of a couple hundred, there are still 40,000 more Baka souls who need to know His saving grace. I think that there will be some missionary involvement in this task, but I hope that the Baka themselves will see that the joy that they receive in Christ should be shared with their tribesmen who are scattered throughout the rainforest. Romans 10:15 says, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!” I hope I am there to witness the beautiful feet of the Baka delivering the good news of the Gospel to others who need to hear. A new prayer was born in me today. ‘Lord, make their feet beautiful.’

(If you are interested in reading the text of Barry and Desma’s prayer letter, see the comment section)

Narnia

I've been visiting a very special fantasy world lately. It's a place were animals can walk and talk like humans, where ordinary children become extraordinary, where water turns people to gold and little dwarfs hop around on a single leg. It's a place with centaurs and fauns and a giant, dangerous, loving, and good lion.
The treasures that I have found in this series of books have been numerous. I could sit here listing them for you, but I think it would be better if you found out for yourself. I hope, if you decide to read it yourself, you will be edified and encouraged by the simple theology that it holds within its pages.

They travel in waves?

When I was in an eighth grade science class, we studied light and sound. The basic concepts were easy enough to understand, but I was really confused about how light and sound travel. The best my instructor could do was to tell me that they travel in waves. Being a very concrete person, I still have difficulty with that concept. I can't see the waves, so they are hard to imagine. Those were the days that light, sound, radio, and television traveled in waves. It was amazing to me that these waves traveled so fast, and that they didn't get in the way of each other, and that they could contain so much information. And then there was the telephone. If it was difficult for me to understand the concept of waves traveling through air, it was even harder to understand how verbal messages could be transmitted back and forth through a little cable. How does that cable get a voice to travel along it so quickly, and how does it know where to send its message? As if all of that were not confusing enough; now we have cell phones and wireless computers. I don't suppose that I will ever understand it. I guess I should just be grateful for the technology. God created an awesome world for us to live in. His creation is so complex and beautiful that it would be foolish to suggest that it could have begun any other way besides God's design. He also created us with amazing brains. Some people are so smart that they can even figure out things like wireless technology.

Endure

The following was copied from a friend's blog today. It was quite appropriate and timely for me. I hope it encourages you also.

Restless until...

Our God, to whom we turn
When weary with illusion,
Whose stars serenely burn
Above this earth's confusion,
Thine is the mighty plan,
The steadfast order sure
In which the world began,
Endures, and shall endure.

Thou art thyself the truth;
Though we who fain would find thee,
Have tried, with thoughts uncouth,
In feeble words to bind thee,
It is because thou art
We're driven to the quest;
Till truth from falsehood part,
Our souls can find no rest.

All beauty speaks of thee:
The mountains and the rivers,
The line of lifted sea,
Where spreading moonlight quivers,
The deep-toned organ blast
That rolls through arches dim
Hints of the music vast
Of thy eternal hymn.

Wherever goodness lurks
We catch thy tones appealing;
Where man for justice works
Thou art thyself revealing;
The blood of man, for man
On friendship's altar spilt,
Betrays the mystic plan
On which thy house is built.

Thou hidden fount of love,
Of peace, and truth, and beauty,
Inspire us from above
With joy and strength for duty.
May thy fresh light arise
Within each clouded heart,
And give us open eyes
To see thee as thou art.

~Edward Grubb, 1925

Let us endure with eyes fixed on our Maker.

Inconvenient Conveniences

I used to hate it when my mother told me that it was time to hand-wash all of the glasses. You see, we had really hard water, and after a few weeks of running the dishes through the dishwasher, the glasses would get so covered in hard water stains that they were no longer pleasant to drink from. The best answer to that problem was to wash them all by hand to get the white stuff off.

Last night, we ran the dishwasher. When we opened it this evening, the glasses were covered by white grit and bits of dish-grime. We decided to give the convenient little machine a second chance and put the rinse cycle on again. No go. Our next course of action: make sure all of the movable parts inside are, in fact, moving, run the garbage disposal, refill the soap compartment with dishwasher soap, and run the dishwasher again, this time with the optional pre-rinse. Of course, I was doing anything I could at this point to avoid washing the dishes by hand, especially the dishes that had already gone through the dishwasher. Why is it that simple things like washing dishes by hand become so inconvenient when modern conveniences like dishwashers are available? I guess it is just the principle of the thing; why have a dishwasher if it does not do its job?

Daddy-love

I got a phone message from my dad this morning. He told me that he loves me, and that he wants to go get Korean barbeque for dinner with me. Of course, we won’t be able to go get dinner together this evening, but it was so precious to hear that my daddy loves me and wants to spend time with me. I love you Dad.

The phone message from my earthly father made me think of how much our heavenly father loves us. He wants to spend time with us, to show us His love, to share Himself with us. God’s daddy-love is a pursuing love, a love that will not give up, a love that gives us worth and meaning. His love for us is so great that He would allow Jesus to die, so that He could bring us near to Him. I love you Abba.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom