Resigned

From Webster:
resign (ri-'zIn) verb
1 : to give up one's office or position
2 : to accept something as inevitable

Well, I've done both. In the words of some friends who are also preparing for the mission field and of Cortez, I have "burned the ships."
Today was my last day as a PHN with San Joaquin County. As I packed up the last of my belongings and said goodbye to some dear friends, I felt a sense of deep peace and satisfaction. It's not that I didn't like my job. Quite the contrary. I loved doing home visits. But, God is directing me to Cameroon, and I am resigned to do exactly that. Oh, what joy comes from being right in the middle of God's will.
Tomorrow is the garage sale that will further seal the deal.

Burn the Ships
Steven Curtis Chapman

In the spring of 1519 a Spanish fleet set sail
Cortez told his sailors this mission must not fail
On the eastern shore of Mexico they landed with great dreams
But the hardships of the new world make them restless and weak
Quietly they whispered, "Let's sail back to the life we knew"
But the one who led them there was saying

Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn

In the spring of new beginnings a searching heart set sail
Looking for a new life and a love that would not fail
On the shores of grace and mercy we landed with great joy
But an enemy was waiting to steal, kill, and destroy
Quietly he whispers, "Go back to the life you know"
But the one who led us here is saying

Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn

Nobody said it would be easy
But the one who brought us here
Is never gonna leave us alone

Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn