Airplanes and Mongulus

Dad and Mom are going to Cameroon in a few short days! I am so excited for them! Please pray with me for safe travel and a God-glorifying time of fellowship between them and the Baka team. How I wish I could go with them, but alas, I could not fit in the carry-on (I nearly tried). Pray also that they would be well received by the Baka, and that their trip, in some way, large or small, would help to pave the way for me to go back in the near future.

Contentment

We all have moments when we are not nearly as content as we should be in the love and presence of God. I am reminded of a Chris Tomlin song that always prompts me to find my fulfillment and contentment in God Almighty.


Enough

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

YouÂ’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
YouÂ’re my coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough for me

Making Disciples

Another letter came from the Abbots today. They recalled the events of a "typical" day in Cameroon when they transported two ill children to a nearby hospital. I thought of many things as I read their letter. The nurse in me wanted to ask more questions about the children's symptoms and wondered if the illness was preventable. The missionary in me pondered the lack of resources. The Christian in me was proud that Barry and Desma took the time to use this situation as an opportunity to pray with the Baka. The overwhelming thought, however, was the desire to be in Cameroon, caring for the medical needs of the Baka with the goal of making disciples.

Jubilant Spirit

I just received another update from the Baka team. They spoke of a "jubilant spirit" that is causing the Baka to sing praises to a good God. It seems that the Baka are beginning to understand that Komba, the creator-God, cares about them and deserves their praises. This is a huge step toward the building of a reproducing church among the Baka!!
My friends also spoke of the old oppressive forest spirit, Jengi, who seems to still have a tight hold on the hearts of the people that live in Mayos. You see, though the Baka are learning that Komba cares for them, they also know intimately the slavery that spirit worship brings. They have been appeasing Jengi for generations and are, quite literally, in spiritual bondage.
Most of us in the West have no idea what it means to be cursed by someone or to be the subject of an evil spell. We spend a good amount of money and effort seeking out experts in medicine, finances, even home decorating, but the Baka, and many other people groups who are spiritually enslaved spend money and energy seeking out the expertise of witch doctors. Just as you and I see necessity in seeking out medical and financial help in certain situations, the Baka cannot imagine a life without appeasing the spirits.
Please pray with me that the God who created the universe, moves mountains, calms the seas, and changes the hearts of men would continue reveal His good purposes and His character. Pray that He would work among the Baka to free them from their long bondage.
(To see the full text of Barry and Desma's letter, please see the comments section.)

Dawn

Who is this babe that has caused such a ruckus? Why do millions of people stop to worship a little infant every December? What is so enchanting about the nativity? Why were the shepherds and the wise men so impressed? About whom did the angels sing their chorus?
In church today I was reminded that Israel was in the midst of a very dark night when their Messiah came. Some did not recognize Him, but for those who did, dawn began to break and hope returned. This dawn quickly spread throughout Israel and the neighboring areas. Since then, it has crossed cultures, seas, and language to reach some of the uttermost parts of this globe.
However, there are still so many people living in that dark night waiting for a Messiah. In many places of this world, whole people groups wait and wonder for God to end their night.
Lord, please light those dark places with the dawn of the nativity.

Present Sufferings

I can't describe to you what heaven will be like. I can't even imagine it myself. A little gem from the sermon this morning, or rather from Romans 8:18, reminded me that heaven will be beyond my wildest dreams.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
-Romans 8:18
Paul was no stranger to suffering. By the time he wrote Romans, he knew what it was like to be beaten, persecuted, near death, shunned… Perhaps some of you know what it is like to have sufferings that are overwhelming and seemingly unbearable. Weigh your sufferings, however mighty or overwhelming they might be and then try to imagine heaven. It is not even comparable!!! Heaven is not just a consolation prize for saints who have served their time on planet earth; it is what God had planned in the first place, a place full of love and peace and God’s very glory. Not only is heaven the opposite of suffering, but it is monumentally immeasurable, incomprehensible, and far beyond any of our wildest dreams.

Charlie Brown's Christmas tree

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Yesterday our apartment manager had the common areas decorated with lights and garland. Today, my roommates and I bought a live Christmas tree and some poinsettias to decorate our own space. We had some difficulty deciding on a tree as some were more expensive, but prettier and bigger, and some were not the right color or the right kind of branches. Eventually we all agreed on a cute little stone pine that stand about 3.5 feet high and leans ever so slightly. It's funny, because the fact that it leans was one of the deciding factors. We all agreed it reminded us just a little of that sad Christmas tree in Charlie Brown's Christmas. Our meager Christmas decorations will be more than enough to decorate our little tree, and I am sure it will look quite festive once it has lights and decoration. Not only that, but we can give it a spot in the backyard once Christmas is over.

Anthem for Christmas

Since Thanksgiving has officially passed, I have given myself permission to begin celebrating Christmas. This, of course, means that I can now legitimately listen to Christmas music. One of my favorite Christmas albums, Michael W. Smith's "Christmas," captures the celebration of the season quite well. The song that is quoted below puts joy in my heart and a new Christmas hope in my mind. It recounts what God intended when He created this world, reveals how He chose to remedy the problem of sin, and gives us a glimpse of what to expect when His kingdom is fully established. What an awesome God we have that He would first create such a wondrous world just to communicate love to us. And then, when we chose sin instead of simply accepting His love, He sent and even more precious gift, His own Son. I can't wait to see what He does next!!

Anthem For Christmas - Michael W. Smith
In the space of the beginning
Was the living Word of light
When this Word was clearly spoken
All that came to be was right

All creation had a language
Words to say what must be said
All day long the Heavens whispered
Signing words in scarlet red

Still some failed to understand it
So God spoke His final Word
On a silent night in Judah's
Hills a baby's cry was heard

"Glory!" sang the angel chorus
"Glory!" echoed back the night
Love has come to walk among us
Christ the Lord is born this night

All creation sing His praises
Earth and heaven praise His name
All who live come join the chorus
Find the words
His love proclaim

Storytelling

Everyone loves a good story. In fact, we seem to be infatuated with stories. We read stories in books, see them on TV and in movies, and listen to them on radio. Most of us grew up listening to stories told by a grandfather or some other elder relative. We tell our own story over and over (especially those of us who write blogs) and often even tell the stories of friends and acquaintances (some even take it as far as gossip). When I think about it, I realize that a good amount of our time is spent in story telling or in reading, watching, or listening to stories. The rest of our time is spent living out our own personal story.
Today, as I drove from Manteca to Santa Ana, I began pondering why we are so taken with stories. Perhaps it is because we were made by God to be story livers and story tellers. The best story of all is the story of redemption and forgiveness that Christ lived out for us and that every born again believer continues to live today. As we live out the story that Christ gave us, we have even more reason and opportunity to tell of the One who gave his life so that we might live.

Thankful

You all know that Thanksgiving is this week. What do you have to be thankful for? I am thankful for life and health (especially after coming home from work tonight). I am thankful for the time I got to spend with my brother this weekend and for the opportunity to drive home this Wednesday for Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for awesome roommates and for the protection that God has given us in spite of some tension with neighbors. I'm thankful for the privilege of being God's hands and feet to those who He places in my path.

Hurting People

I am beginning to realize how many opportunities I have to minister to people that I pass up. In the midst of being unhappy about my current job, I have been dreaming of working in a clinic with low-income families or the homeless. I figure that it would be a great opportunity for ministry and it would prepare me for some of the health problems that I am likely to see overseas. However, I forget that I have amazing opportunities to be the hands and feet of Jesus in my current position. The emergency room cannot be rivaled as a place to find hurting people. It is a unique environment filled with those who have recently and suddenly been thrown onto a physical and spiritual roller coaster. Lord, please help me to minister to the hurting people that I meet every day.

Visions of Mayos

I got an email from my friend who is visiting Mayos (the Baka encampment that I frequented when I was in Cameroon). She told me of how she is enjoying her time with the missionaries and with their precious children. She described a little of the Sunday worship service (they are really having weekly worship services!). And she mentioned meeting some Baka whom I have fond memories of. Though I really wish I could be there with her, it is neat to see Mayos through her eyes. I think tonight I will fall asleep with visions of Mayos dancing in my head.

Unprepared

A few years ago, I decided to become a nurse, because I felt that was the best way for me to gain some of the skills that I would need to be a missionary. When I finished school, I had hoped that I would be able to get a job that would prepare me for the kind of nursing that I would be doing on the mission field. The emergency room seemed to be the perfect choice. Working in an ER has proven to be a huge learning experience for me, just not the kind of learning experience that I had hoped for. You see, we, as a society, have learned a vast amount about the human body: how it works, what can go wrong, how to know what is going wrong, and how to treat it when it is not working right. Of course all of this knowledge is of great value. The problem is that there is so much that a nurse in my position needs to know. I have to be prepared to care for every patient, from the teenager who cut her finger in the kitchen to the middle aged man who collapsed in a shopping mall for no apparent reason and has been receiving CPR. I have found, time and time again, that I can not be properly prepared to handle every emergency that will come my way. In fact, I've been told that I could be an ER nurse for 30 years and still come across situations that I am not prepared for. I have also found that I am unprepared for some of the things that I should have already received training for. Thus, I am in a situation where I frequently experience "baptism by fire" or feel that I must "sink or swim."
I say all of this, not to complain about the stresses of the ER or to evoke feelings of sympathy from you all, but to draw some parallels with ministry, to write a parable of sorts.
I hope to be on the mission field in a couple of years, but am I prepared? Do I know about the ministry: how it works, what can go wrong, how to know what is going wrong, and how to treat it when it is not working right. Can I handle every emergency that comes my way? Have I learned as much as I can of the Bible? Do I have access to the vast amount of knowledge we have gathered about the human condition? I trust that God has given me the ability to bandage up some of those spiritual bumps and bruises, but what about the person who is teetering on the edge?
There's so much yet to learn in the next couple of years. "Baptism by fire" and "sink or swim" are not phrases that I want to use to describe my first couple of years on the mission field.

Lord, please cause me to be prepared for the ministry that you are leading me into.

Wasting Time

Sometimes I feel as if I waste so much time on silly, unimportant things, like television or surfing the internet. It's as if I know in the very core of my being that I was created for something so much more fulfilling and important. It takes me a while to realize that the one most important thing is my relationship with the creator of this universe, who, strangely enough, wants to spend time with me. Anselm, a eleventh century philosopher and theologion, said it well.

Up now, slight man! Flee for a little while thy occupations; hide thyself for a time from thy disturbing thoughts. Cast aside now thy burdensome cares, and put away thy toilsome business. Yield room for some little time to God, and rest for a little time in Him. Enter the inner chamber of thy mind; shut out all thoughts save that of God and such as can aid thee in seeking Him. Speak now, my whole heart! Speak now to God, saying, I seek Thy face; Thy face, Lord. Will I seek.

-Anselm

A Trip to Mayos

A dear friend of mine is spending some time with the Baka this week. As I wonder who she will meet in Mayos and what the reaction will be to the visitors, I am reminded of how much the Baka need Jesus. Please continue to pray for the Baka with me. Pray for simple things, like the availability of food when they go out to gather it tomorrow and for healing for the multiple illnesses they suffer because of their environment and because of malnutrition. Also pray for more spiritual things as they continue to hear about Komba (their name for God) and His plan for this world. Pray that they would listen and hear what Komba is saying to them and that many would come to a solid belief in Jesus Christ, who is the only way to be saved from sin. Also lift the Abbots, the Conrods, and Pierre up in prayer as they continue the work of sharing the Gospel with the Baka. Pray for Dan, Lisa, Rachel, and Sharon as they travel to Mayos to spend time with the Baka team, that their trip would be safe and beneficial to all. And pray for my own parents as they prepare to take a trip to Cameroon in January to encourage and help the Baka team.

The Last Battle

I just reached the end of C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles Of Narnia. The last book is entitled The Last Battle. In the final few chapters Lewis describes Aslan's world, which is meant to represent heaven. Once again I found myself homesick and longing for the day that we go to heaven. What a joyous reunion that will be. We will be utterly amazed and awestruck at what we will find there. Lewis' rendition was amazing enough, but the real thing will be beyond our imagination or our wildest dreams. Wow, I just can't wait!!

ER Blues

As I arrive home from work tonight (or rather this morning), I have much to consider. Though life as an ER nurse has its challenges, I feel that some of the stresses that are included in my job are unnecessary. I am considering applying at another hospital in order to gain more ER specific training and preparation. This, of course, opens a new can of worms, and I am not sure what to do with them. Please pray with me for wisdom and guidance as I wade through some difficult decisions.

Devotion

de•vo•tion: noun
1 a: religious fervor: piety b: an act of prayer or private worship -- usually used in plural c: a religious exercise or practice other than the regular corporate worship of a congregation
2 a: the act of devoting b: the fact or state of being ardently dedicated and loyal (as to an idea or person)
3 obsolete: the object of one's devotion

I see four different meanings for devotion here.
religious fervor: piety: whether it be allegiance to the one true God or a false god, a commitment to one’s religion is one meaning for devotion.
an act of prayer or private worship: this makes me think of the daily devotions that many Christians have made part of their lives. Sometimes these are with a small group of people or by one’s self, but they are priceless times to sit at God’s feet, learn from Him, worship, and pray.
the act of devoting: I am reminded of Hannah. She devoted Samuel, her long awaited and much loved son to God’s service. This was not an empty dedication, but a real sacrifice as she sent her young son, just after he was weaned, to live in the temple, so far away that she would only see him once a year.
fact or state of being ardently dedicated and loyal: What I wish for. Such devotion is what God deserves. This is the kind of commitment to God that led Hannah to devote not only her own life to God, but also the child that was so precious to her. This is the sort of selflessness that leads martyrs to give up their lives instead of forsaking Christ. This is real devotion.

Indescribable

At church the other day, I was overwhelmed with the uniqueness of God. I wanted to find a word or two to describe Him, but nothing seemed adequate. Everything that I thought of described something so much smaller, so much weaker, and so much less perfect. Laura Story and Jesse Reeves put words, though still quite inadequate, to the uniqueness of God in Chris Tomlin’s album Arriving.

From the highest of heights
To the depths of the sea
Creation’s revealing your majesty
From the colors of Fall
To the fragrance of Spring
Every creature unique
And the song that it sings
All exclaiming…

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And you know them by name
You are amazing, God
All powerful, untamable
Awestruck, we fall to our knees
As we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God

Who has told every lightning bolt
Where it should go?
Or seen heavenly storehouses
Laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun
And gives source to its light?
Yet conceals it to bring us the
Coolness of night?
None can fathom…

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
And you know them by name
You are amazing, God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart
And you love me the same
You are amazing God

Songs and Feet

Rejoice with me as I celebrate a new step in the journey of the Baka to Christ!!! I have been amazed at the wondrous work that God is doing on behalf of the Baka through good times and bad, happy moments and sad.

For what seems like a very long time, I have been praying for this little people group who need Christ so desperately. One of the prayers that I have been praying is that God would give them a song to sing. I don’t just mean any old song, but a song of redemption and worship to our King.

I dream of the day that all nations will be gathered to Christ. I cannot imagine how great that day will be, but I bet each tribe will be worshiping our Lord in their own way, their own tongue, and their own song. These songs will blend together in a beautiful orchestra of voices and hearts poured out before God. The Baka will be among that great throng of people, and they will be singing their own song of praise in perfect harmony with the rest who will be gathered that day. The exciting part right now is that we are beginning to see glimpses of what that will look like.

A prayer letter came to me the other day from my friends Barry and Desma, who recently went back to Cameroon to continue the work among the Baka. On a preliminary trip into the bush with teammate Nathan, Barry got to participate in a little meeting with the Baka and was pleasantly surprised at what he saw and heard. Here is an excerpt of the letter describing the gathering:

The best part of the week, however, came on the last evening. Pierre (our Cameroonian friend who is a believer and has dedicated himself to sharing the gospel with the Baka) invited me to prepare some verses and a few words for a meeting with the Baka. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I borrowed a French Bible from Samba. Phil and Reda had left it to him as he is capable of reading a great deal of French. I wasn’t prepared for the beautiful glimpse of things to come.

We began the meeting with a couple of songs that Pierre and the Baka have worked together to write in the Baka style. It was a beautiful sound and I could pick out enough words in Baka to know that they were singing about God’s goodness. Their voices rose as if they were putting all they had into the melodies. There were divided parts as one person after another (Lendo, Mbaka, Samba) would lead certain songs sometimes at Pierre’s prompting sometimes more spontaneously. After the first two songs, Pierre said it was my turn. I read to them in French from Jeremiah 17:5-8 which talks about the tree planted by the river which never ceases to bear fruit and doesn’t notice when the heat comes I proceeded to explain briefly how God has many names . . . one of which is the river of life. I explained that whoever plants himself close to this river would experience the blessings of God. They replied in unison with a hearty “ie sakindi” (yes it’s true).

I also shared with them that we were sad that Phil couldn’t be with us, but that we are content that he is now in heaven with the Lord. They replied with the same phrase.

After I finished, they clapped and then sang many other songs. Before the last song, Samba led a prayer. I must remind you that Samba was one of the young men that passed their days on Desma’s porch when she lived here before. Now he is a man with a very large heart. He prayed a long prayer and I was so moved to hear the tone of his voice as he prayed. It sounded familiar even though I couldn’t understand most of the words. Later when Pierre explained the content of the prayer, my heart was very glad. He prayed for our trip back to Yaounde and for our families and children. He also prayed for our teammate Reda Anderton and her children as they continue to grieve the loss of Phil. He prayed for the people of Mayos as well. We closed with a song as everyone shook hands with everyone there.

You can imagine my joy at hearing such amazing news. Though I cannot expect that all of the people who were at that little meeting are true believers at this time, it is still so encouraging to see leaders beginning to emerge, leaders who will be used by God to further the Gospel among the Baka and surrounding people groups. The Baka are beginning to hear the melody that God will press onto their hearts, and I dare say, some are humming along already.

This raised a question in my heart about whether I would be of any use in the Baka ministry. After all, it will be a couple of years before I will be able to get to the mission field, and there may be the beginning of a growing and vibrant church among the Baka at that time. But God nudged me a little and showed me how much more work there is to be done. Even after a church is established in this encampment of a couple hundred, there are still 40,000 more Baka souls who need to know His saving grace. I think that there will be some missionary involvement in this task, but I hope that the Baka themselves will see that the joy that they receive in Christ should be shared with their tribesmen who are scattered throughout the rainforest. Romans 10:15 says, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!” I hope I am there to witness the beautiful feet of the Baka delivering the good news of the Gospel to others who need to hear. A new prayer was born in me today. ‘Lord, make their feet beautiful.’

(If you are interested in reading the text of Barry and Desma’s prayer letter, see the comment section)

Narnia

I've been visiting a very special fantasy world lately. It's a place were animals can walk and talk like humans, where ordinary children become extraordinary, where water turns people to gold and little dwarfs hop around on a single leg. It's a place with centaurs and fauns and a giant, dangerous, loving, and good lion.
The treasures that I have found in this series of books have been numerous. I could sit here listing them for you, but I think it would be better if you found out for yourself. I hope, if you decide to read it yourself, you will be edified and encouraged by the simple theology that it holds within its pages.

They travel in waves?

When I was in an eighth grade science class, we studied light and sound. The basic concepts were easy enough to understand, but I was really confused about how light and sound travel. The best my instructor could do was to tell me that they travel in waves. Being a very concrete person, I still have difficulty with that concept. I can't see the waves, so they are hard to imagine. Those were the days that light, sound, radio, and television traveled in waves. It was amazing to me that these waves traveled so fast, and that they didn't get in the way of each other, and that they could contain so much information. And then there was the telephone. If it was difficult for me to understand the concept of waves traveling through air, it was even harder to understand how verbal messages could be transmitted back and forth through a little cable. How does that cable get a voice to travel along it so quickly, and how does it know where to send its message? As if all of that were not confusing enough; now we have cell phones and wireless computers. I don't suppose that I will ever understand it. I guess I should just be grateful for the technology. God created an awesome world for us to live in. His creation is so complex and beautiful that it would be foolish to suggest that it could have begun any other way besides God's design. He also created us with amazing brains. Some people are so smart that they can even figure out things like wireless technology.

Endure

The following was copied from a friend's blog today. It was quite appropriate and timely for me. I hope it encourages you also.

Restless until...

Our God, to whom we turn
When weary with illusion,
Whose stars serenely burn
Above this earth's confusion,
Thine is the mighty plan,
The steadfast order sure
In which the world began,
Endures, and shall endure.

Thou art thyself the truth;
Though we who fain would find thee,
Have tried, with thoughts uncouth,
In feeble words to bind thee,
It is because thou art
We're driven to the quest;
Till truth from falsehood part,
Our souls can find no rest.

All beauty speaks of thee:
The mountains and the rivers,
The line of lifted sea,
Where spreading moonlight quivers,
The deep-toned organ blast
That rolls through arches dim
Hints of the music vast
Of thy eternal hymn.

Wherever goodness lurks
We catch thy tones appealing;
Where man for justice works
Thou art thyself revealing;
The blood of man, for man
On friendship's altar spilt,
Betrays the mystic plan
On which thy house is built.

Thou hidden fount of love,
Of peace, and truth, and beauty,
Inspire us from above
With joy and strength for duty.
May thy fresh light arise
Within each clouded heart,
And give us open eyes
To see thee as thou art.

~Edward Grubb, 1925

Let us endure with eyes fixed on our Maker.

Inconvenient Conveniences

I used to hate it when my mother told me that it was time to hand-wash all of the glasses. You see, we had really hard water, and after a few weeks of running the dishes through the dishwasher, the glasses would get so covered in hard water stains that they were no longer pleasant to drink from. The best answer to that problem was to wash them all by hand to get the white stuff off.

Last night, we ran the dishwasher. When we opened it this evening, the glasses were covered by white grit and bits of dish-grime. We decided to give the convenient little machine a second chance and put the rinse cycle on again. No go. Our next course of action: make sure all of the movable parts inside are, in fact, moving, run the garbage disposal, refill the soap compartment with dishwasher soap, and run the dishwasher again, this time with the optional pre-rinse. Of course, I was doing anything I could at this point to avoid washing the dishes by hand, especially the dishes that had already gone through the dishwasher. Why is it that simple things like washing dishes by hand become so inconvenient when modern conveniences like dishwashers are available? I guess it is just the principle of the thing; why have a dishwasher if it does not do its job?

Daddy-love

I got a phone message from my dad this morning. He told me that he loves me, and that he wants to go get Korean barbeque for dinner with me. Of course, we won’t be able to go get dinner together this evening, but it was so precious to hear that my daddy loves me and wants to spend time with me. I love you Dad.

The phone message from my earthly father made me think of how much our heavenly father loves us. He wants to spend time with us, to show us His love, to share Himself with us. God’s daddy-love is a pursuing love, a love that will not give up, a love that gives us worth and meaning. His love for us is so great that He would allow Jesus to die, so that He could bring us near to Him. I love you Abba.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

from scratch

My roommates and I have gotten into the good habit of making home cooked meals instead of going out. We are all recent college graduates and are a bit stingy with our money, so eating in seems the perfect solution. However, it occurred to me this evening just how time consuming this habit is. I began my work in the kitchen this evening about an hour before we sat down to eat. It involved cleaning up the dishes from the day, preparing a meal (all the while being careful not to dirty too many more dishes), and baking a cake for a little birthday celebration. After eating the task of cleaning up after the meal began. All combined, I probably spent about two hours in the kitchen. Don’t get me wrong, I really like cooking, but the realization of how much time it takes to cook a meal got me thinking…

When I was in Cameroon I frequently had to make items such as lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese, and tortillas from scratch. We didn’t buy meat that was already prepared. In fact, we had to grind our own ground beef. Cooking was not a simple procedure there. Substituting papayas or mangos for items such as apples was common, and basic things like cake mix and bisquick had to be made from scratch with the raw ingredients. There was something pure about making everything from scratch, and the idea of buying food at the store already made up became foreign to me (contributing to a bit of reverse culture shock when I returned home). It was as if the challenge of cooking creatively, with what was available, made the work worthwhile. I guess you can imagine that cooking in Cameroon was even more time consuming than it is here, but in some ways, I miss the purity of it. Maybe that is one of the reasons that I try to cook as much from scratch as I can now.

on prayer

You know, it's an amazing thing that we get to pray. We can, at any time, in any place, talk to God. It's amazing enough that there is someone so near that He can always hear us. Even more incredible is that He wants to hear us. But, the most unbelievable of all is that He is the Almighty God. What would God want to do with us? Why would He want to talk to us? I know the answer. It's because He loves us (that is another unbelievable topic for a blog), but don't you find it absolutely astounding that God would lower Himself to communicate with us?

With all of this in mind, it is a wonder that I don’t take more time to pray.

Miss Scarlet in the study with the candlestick

Are you competitive? I played Clue with my roommate this evening. I lost, but it was fun!! We implicated each other with tiny, little implements and made up stories that demanded alibis. It was good to use my mind for something other than the ER, even if we did get a bit goofy at times.

Hope

Romans 3:23 "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Titus 3:5-7 "He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

This is the Gospel. We are all sinners. We need God, but we cannot even get close to Him because of our filthy sin. But He is loving and merciful, and He sent His own perfect, sinless son to die and pay the price for our sin so that we could become pure and clean. So, if we accept this amazing and costly gift that He's given to us, we can become God's own children and heirs of Heaven. We cannot enter Heaven because we are good people. We do not earn citizenship in Heaven by doing good things. We can only approach the gates of Heaven if we have faith in Jesus and the power of His gift to us.

Can you imagine what it will be like to enter heaven? Do you wonder what it will be like to see God in all of His glory? Have you ever considered how you will react at that time?

My friend Midge recently died and went to heaven. Midge loved the Lord and loved singing praises to Him. She would talk about Him to anyone who asked, because she wanted other people to know Him and to experience His love. I don't know what she is doing now that she is in God's presence, but I am sure it involves singing and dancing. Midge no longer has crippling arthritis. She no longer suffers from kidney failure. Dialysis is no longer a part of her life. She isn't sick, she's not in pain, and she has no sadness in God's presence. Praise God!!

I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

{Chorus}:
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

Boba

For those of you who aren't from Southern California or an Asian country, boba may be a new word. When I first came to SoCal, my roommate took me out for some "real" Chinese food (she was from Taiwan) and boba. I welcomed the new experience. We ate at a restaurant that serves traditional Chinese food (not American-Chinese food), and the meal was delicious. Then we stopped and got boba at a little shop. Boba is also called "bubble tea" and the "bubbles" are made from little pearls of manioc (a root that grows in tropical areas, serves as a staple food, and is the same thing that they make tapioca pudding from). The little boba balls are about a centimeter in diameter and can be sucked out of the drink with an oversized straw. They really don't taste like anything, but they are kind of fun, and they can be added to any cold beverage (I think they are best with a mango slush). They also make really good projectiles:)
It's strange for me to see manioc take such an urban form. I was first introduced to manioc in Papua New Guinea, where it is eaten as a staple food and called tapioc. As you can imagine, it is very starchy and fills the tummy. Though it had very little taste, the texture and appearance were very unique. It was served as a small loaf or lump and was white and almost translucent. The texture was very similar to rubber, but with a little effort it could be chewed and swallowed. The thing I remember most about it however, was the fact that it sat like a rock in my stomach.
The next time I saw manioc was in Cameroon. It seems that every tribe in Cameroon has a different way of preparing and eating manioc. Two of the most notable are baton du manioc and water fufu. Baton du manioc can be found in open air markets. It has an unmistakable odor that, oddly enough, resembles the smell of cows. It's wrapped up in banana leaves and looks like a stick. When the leaves are removed, the starchy translucent manioc is revealed on the inside. Though it was prepared differently, Baton du manioc tasted just like tapioc. The other form, water fufu, was slightly less appetizing to me. I won't torture you with the details, but the processing of this form of manioc involves fermenting it. Because I was aware of the process used to prepare it, I don't think I ever actually tasted water fufu.
Isn't it strange that something so simple would take on so many different forms? ...tapioca pudding, boba, tapioc, manioc loaves, baton du manioc, and water fufu. I guess it is much like rice, the other staple food of the world; everyone finds their own way of preparing it.

Homesick

"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself."

Philippians 3:20-21

I don't know about you, but I get homesick from time to time. This world is not our home. We are foreigners here. And yet God has placed us here for a time and for a season such as now. Let's do our job.
Recently, my dear friend, Phil, went home to be with Jesus. Through the grief I realized that he reached the finish line! His race is done. I look forward to eternity, but it seems so far away, so distant and unreal. But, it is not far off. This life is only for a short time, and then we get to spend eternity in the glorious presence of our God.

Peace

Have you ever noticed that stress is a vicious cycle? Some people are positively affected by stress. I don’t happen to be one of those people. Sometimes a certain amount of stress is a motivating factor for me, but normally it causes me to be paralyzed and procrastinate. Of course, that is not helpful. If I am paralyzed, then I am unable to do anything to improve the situation that is causing stress. If I procrastinate, I cause even more anxiety in my life; the longer I wait to act, the more the stress builds up. You see where I am going with this?

So then, what is the relationship between stress and peace? God promises us peace and joy, but the anxiety that I am experiencing doesn’t seem to mix well with peace. In fact, it seems that I am experiencing the opposite of peace. I pray for peace and a decrease in anxiety, and I feel a little better for a little while, but then the old fears and insecurities creep up, and I am back where I started. Do I not trust Him enough? Do I need more faith? I don’t think so.

We live in a fallen world, a world tainted by sin and the consequences thereof. The devil would love to paralyze us and keep us from doing what God has designed us to do. He would love to see us fail. However, we find our strength in the Almighty One. We have shelter under the wings of God. We are ambassadors for His kingdom. Nothing happens to us that God does not permit. He knows what we can handle, and He knows better than we do what is good for us. I think the answer to handling stress is to continue seeking God, to rest in Him, to shun the devil, and to press on even in the midst of trouble. My mother would say that trials produce character, quoting Romans 5:3-5.

I would add:

“What shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Just as it is written ‘For Thy sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered sheep to be slaughtered.’

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:35-39)

I’ve never experienced hardship like it is described in this passage. Perhaps someday I will. Maybe this is the time that God is preparing me to deal with that tribulation. Perhaps now is the time to begin a study on the book of Romans.

Awesome

The red, glowing beauty of the horizon during a sunset…

The vast immenseness of the ocean…

The intricacy of the human body…

The faithfulness of God…

Those are some of the things that I consider truly awesome.

Have you ever thought about that word? From my understanding, the word awesome used to be employed only when something was truly spectacular, unbelievable, and provoking true awe. These days, however, that word is used several times a day for things that are merely notable. Doughnuts, TV shows, mattresses, and car sales have all been referred to using the adjective “awesome.” I find myself using this word casually far too often. Then, when I see or experience something truly awesome, the word simply doesn’t have enough power to describe what I feel.

Today, while I was fixing dinner, I noticed a rainbow. It was bright and colorful and spanned from horizon to horizon. As the rainbow faded, the sky and all of the clouds turned a beautiful orange just before the sun set. A few moments later, my roommates and I noticed a flash of light in the dark sky followed by the booming sound of thunder. The clouds, that had been a bright billowy red a few minutes ago, began to water the land as the thunder and lightning continued. My roommate, Lindsey, and I stepped outside for a while to watch. At one point, a flash of lightning exploded just above our heads, immediately producing a tremendously loud clap of thunder. The pop and deep rumble of the thunder was enough to make both of us react in fright and run for cover. Now the thunder and lightning have stopped, but it continues to rain off and on. The calm and peace of the weather now compared to its power a few minutes ago is a strange contrast, but it shows the power of God very well.

Awesome!

Hitting the Books

When I was in school, I longed for the day that I would no longer have to study every waking moment. Now, I am out of school, and what do I do with my spare time? Study!
I have been told by many nurses that while you learn a good deal in
nursing school, you really don't learn how to be a nurse until your first
job. I believe them now. I'm learning so much that my head spins at
times. I have some learning modules that I am supposed to be going
through, but by the time I get a day off from work, I have no desire to
think about nursing.
Add to that the fact that I am trying to learn French and piano. I
considered taking a couple classes at the local community college, but
decided that my work schedule would not allow it, and I am glad to be done with school for the time being. Learning French is enjoyable to me, but it is so time consuming. I spend hours in the books or online doing lessons, and I feel that I have very little to show for it. However, I know that this time is time well spent. Knowing French will help me to communicate well with people in Cameroon, and the more I know now, the less I have to learn in language school in a couple years.

Arrival

For many years I struggled with purpose. After returning from an 18 month stay in Cameroon, where I taught missionary kids, that desire for purpose took on a little more meaning. I've always wanted to serve God with my life, but the question was always "how?" My time in Cameroon was spent teaching, watching the missionaries work, forming new friendships, and allowing God to work on my life. I came away from that experience with a realization that God had made me into a missionary.
I can look back on all of those years when I desired purpose in my life and realize that all the while, God was preparing me. I see evidence of God's faithfulness in every event that I went through during that time. ...and God continues to be faithful!!
Now it is time to look forward. I cannot tell you what the future holds, but I know that God has put a desire in my heart to see the Baka of Cameroon become children of God. I am currently preparing for service among the Baka. Please pray for me as I begin to take the necessary steps to reach that goal. I must apply to and be accepted by a mission organization, learn French, and complete some more training in church planting and missionary medicine.
This is an exciting time! I can't believe that God is letting me serve Him in this way! Praise God for allowing me to be His hands and feet to those who need Him. Lord, please accept my service as worship.